on looking forward

The January 17th issue of Time magazine contained various interesting articles on happiness. One gem of a quote hidden in one of those articles says that when people think of happiness, they think of feeling good; but, a big part of happiness is also looking forward to something.

café esperanto

Having already lived here for at least 2 years, one would expect that coming back home from a couple of weeks’ vacation would be something automatically pleasurable. However, on the contrary, the first few weeks of being back here in the city had been rather unsettling. With closest friend here and old roommates already gone back home miles away, it was a challenge (and still very much is) not having the usual everyday and every week things to look forward to. The rituals of old seemed to have vanished into thin air—suddenly, no everyday after work dinner, after dinner coffee, over coffee conversations and arguments, weekend brunch in that favorite café, night out and poker nights. All of a sudden, it felt as though a tsunami had swept over New York, taking away most of what had made it comfortable, leaving me as its sole survivor.

With all the rituals and the people that made New York home seemingly nowhere in sight, it’s as though I were a tourist again to this city. Except one who’s already seen things and places 10 million times before. Hoping to find with fresh eyes and perspectives the newness of New York City. An everyday challenge of rediscovery of this city, and inevitably of oneself.

Thankfully, slowly but surely, I’m getting there. Turns out that that favorite café for weekend brunch is the greatest place for reading a good book in the middle of a terrible snowstorm. Turns out too that I’d finally get the sharp humor of officemates, something I’d once thought an impossibility. Turns out too that racquetball is actually a fun sport. And that yogurt is great for breakfast. That cooking with wine is great too. And, that New Yorkers could be some of the most self-absorbed people in the world, but that isn’t really news.

But, best of all, a rediscovery of having things to look forward to—dinner and some drinking (finally) this weekend with old Jap friends, family coming over to visit in May, first-time to see Europe some time in August to visit those crazy Dutch people (who, according to another article in that same Time issue, happen to be the happiest and most satisfied people in the world; Filipinos are around 30th).

People come and people go. Same with rituals. Same with things that give contentment and happiness. But I guess that just is the nature of life.

Tough love. Now, get over it.