double m meets double d

game night

so astrology says this is the year of the 2 Ms, that of mastery and mystery—the perfect time for mastering oneself and the world while being greeting by the mysteries of ones limitations and that of ones environment. as though caught in wonderful world of sesame street, apparently this year too is brought to us by the double d's. no, not those double d's, silly. instead, according to ll cool j's personal trainer in this morning's today show, if you want anything accomplished, it's all about discipline and determination.

ok, so i might be starting to sound like some reader's digest for the soul but so far so good. this year seems to be shaping up to be the great one it ought to be. things are off to a great start. case in point, got invited by an officemate to her flat for monopoly night with 2 other colleagues. great unexpected fun obviously. dusting off the old board. ordering in. chillin out. a good sense of belongingness and ease in someone else's turf. great way of somehow expanding one's social sphere. could be the start of a monthly game night ritual.

alright, so monopoly might be too high school an example. so i got off the train station from game night. walk in to the corner pizza place. just about to get myself a nice slice. but my slightly el presidente cerveza-influenced brain was overcome by the thought, "jason, don't forget the 2Ds." and so i mustered up the self-control to master my unnecessary craving. and instead headed straight home with no cheese triangle in my hand. quickly dumped my bag, put on my running shoes and some gym shorts. and powered by my ipod tunes, found myself walking to the neighborhood track.

you gotta be kiddin me. going for a jog in the middle of a late winter night in ones shorts. ok, so its not freezing freezing really thanks to global warming but still there was a sense of pushing limits as i ran on the track all by myself. save the couple who were biking around and one-two crazy others who had the same idea of going for some exercise in such a strange hour.

and so i said to myself, ok, i'll run till 11. and so i ran nonstop, huffing tired like a dog but feeling alive as ever. somehow i guess in surprising oneself, one gets a great sense of aliveness. but anyway, my watch decided to play a trick on me, as though wanting to taunt and push me further. 10:59. ok one more round and after this round its probably 11. round done. still not 11. one round more. and another. and another. and it was only after some rounds more id realized my watch had stopped. coming to the conclusion that somehow we set these limits to ourselves only to find out that we actually might not be pushing enough—that we could actually do more than what we thought possible—limits to how far how and long we can run (or bike). limits to who we can hang out with. limits to what we can accomplish. and sometimes, thankfully, we suprise ourselves and find out that these boundaries and safety harnesses are merely superficial. but of course, the only way to know this is by testing those limits.

now here comes the cheesy hallmark conclusion to make up for that missed slice‚ a quote written on an index card i found while cleaning up my old files. one by alex noble, "Risk is essential. There is not growth of inspiration in staying within what is safe and comfortable. Once you find out what you do best, why not try something else?"

yeah, why not? here's why not. 1:24 in the am now. this camper's getting sleepy from that running. tomorrow's another great day for figuring out why not.